Copyright 2002
Wilderness Drum, Inc.
All rights reserved

Wilderness Peacemaking
Steve Beyer

Introduction The Peacemaking Perspective Sacred Gifts The Role of Stress Controlling Your Own Stress Preventing Loss of Control The Ways We Communicate Nonthreatening Approach The Stress Trajectory Appropriate Responses Signs of Distress Verbal Aggression Physical Attack Collapse and Reintegration Conclusion References

Signs of Distress

Often the first observable sign of a stress reaction is a noticeable increase or change in behavior, often – but not always – manifested by a nondirected expenditure of energy. The classic signs, of course, are nervousness, fidgeting, pacing, hand wringing, muttering. What is most important, however, is that the person is different: a normally outgoing person may hike more slowly, withdraw from the group, not laugh at jokes. The better acquainted a wilderness leader becomes with the normal behavior of the individuals in the group, the better chance there is to spot anxious behavior at the outset.

Support for a stressed person means empathic and active listening. In fact, this is where most problems end. An empathic listener does not interrupt, use psychological jargon, bring up old issues, or engage in a power struggle. Much has been written about empathic listening, but there would probably be general agreement that it consists at least in the following:

• Be nonjudgmental.
   
• Give your undivided attention; just as in council, listen devoutly from your heart. Suspend your own needs and focus on the other person. Let your kinesic communication be consistent with this: maintain an open posture, lean slightly forward, nod slightly, maintain an encouraging level of eye contact.
   
• Listen carefully to what the person is really saying. Pick up on feelings, emotions, bodily sensations, metaphors. Observe what the other person is saying kinesically. Look for meanings.
   
• Allow silence. Give the person time for reflection, processing, finding the right words. Let the other person go deeper into the situation.
   
• Reflect what the other person is saying; most important, try to mirror the underlying and often unstated feelings underlying the distress. This lets the other person know that you are really listening and really trying to understand. It lets the person clarify thoughts and feelings; at its best, it moves the process of insight forward.

Especially in the wilderness context, empathic listening – and speaking from the heart – can be done by the entire group, using the traditional council format (see Zimmerman & Coyle, 1996; Baldwin, 1998; Garfield, Spring, & Cahill 1998).

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